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To Start on the Rest

by Frass Green

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1.
Aimee 04:25
Aimee, in a dream I saw you shivering beneath the sodium streetlights, his hand on your thigh. I felt either impaired or hurt. Aimee, I’ve had trouble sitting next to you for the last three months— wasn’t cool enough to be touched. Now I’m either in love or not. Crazy how some hearts are always breaking, that there’s streets they’re always paving— still never a clear route to get back to you. There’s either a heaven or hell. I’m either in love or not. (You're not. Ugh.) But when I saw your eyes in that picture you put online, I knew I wasn’t fine. I wrote some shitty songs ‘bout how the river smelled like wine. I bet you don’t have the time to listen, do you, Aimee? Wish I could be a little older. Be a little older/taller. Be a little older/smarter. Be a little older/harder. Be a little older/cooler. Be a little older/wiser. Be a little older. Be a little.
2.
Before I saw her standing in my kitchen, I couldn't breathe right, I didn't know what I was missing. But then I saw her standing in my kitchen. So I said, 'Darling,' but she didn't feel like kissing then. I said to her, 'Well I'm glad I met you just before the walls caved in.' Now I remember knocking on her window— the July moonlight just laying on the bay. And when I saw her standing in that window, hair tied to the side, it kinda made me feel like dancing. Now I love her and I want her all the time and it seems like that's alright. Wrote a list of all the things she means to me. Thought of all the nights we stayed out way past three. If I had more to give I would, but baby all I've got for you are these songs. Girl living down on the Susquehanna. Girl living down on the Susquehanna. Girl living down on the Susquehanna. Girl living down on the Susquehanna.
3.
Hey Joe, it's aunt ———. When you get a chance, give me a call, you'd be going right by Evergreen, I think, coming from Crested Butt? Butte? Whatever? I don't know if you had a specific reason to go to Boulder or if you were just planning on meeting us? So give me a call and let me know. I don't know how you're traveling either. Bus? Car? Hitchhiking? What's going on? Talk to you. Bye. I've heard that things haven't gone so well for you. You lost your dog, running in the street, you can't kick percocet. I bought that new Car Seat Headrest. It sounded like Elliot Smith with the best-cursed grunge band anyone's ever met. Do you have plans yet for tomorrow night? I don't know, if you want you can come over. We'll flip off the lights and listen. You won't even have to say a single word. There's no point in talking over this, we'll just lay there like kids. You've got such wary, shaded eyes. You speak those sweet O'Hara lines. Come visit, baby. It's been a long, hot summer. Have you gone and found another? If not, come visit, baby. I know we haven't talked much. But right now I'm dying for your touch. Come visit, baby. What good's it do us not to try? Who knows maybe we'll work this time? Come visit, baby.
4.
In Aberdeen 03:45
It’s all I can do to write about you now that you’ve found another. We had so much fun in the nude all June. Who cares it pissed off your mother? I miss your hair, miss your August gloom. I miss your thing for Burnett’s. So what can I do when the sun sinks low, and the moon slinks picturesque? The morning mist forms a dew on grass never seen by your eyes, an endless green. Because they left me long ago when we were both seventeen— in Aberdeen. Sure, you looked cool in your Cass McCombs shirt, but we grew up, you gave in. You made me a mix I still listen to some (I don’t like most of it anymore). The morning mist forms a dew on grass never seen by your eyes, an endless green. Because they left me long ago when we were both seventeen— in Aberdeen. It’s all I can do to sit and think of you. It’s all I can do to sleep and dream of you. I don’t know why but I think I still love you— if only in Aberdeen.
5.
So let’s go down to the park, pray for the rain, follow the strays around. Cuz I’ve been waiting for weeks, faking for weeks, hoping you’d care, cuz that’s what I need now. Get out of bed. It’s been how many weeks? My friend's got some beer, I got the weed. Oh come on darling (we used to be darlings), and now that you’re home, well, I already tried not calling. I’ve missed the Susky, the slow life, the way the moon shone in your eyes. Now that we’re back on the river, I want your skin on mine all the time. Tell me all ‘bout your new friends, the South Beach trends. Do you miss the fall? I miss the way I fell for you then, we read the newspaper and you did the crosswords. Nights, we spent ‘em all. I’ve missed the Susky, the slow life, the way the moon shone in your eyes. Now that we’re back on the river, I want your skin on mine all the time. I’ve missed the Susky, the slow life, kept having dreams where you were mine. Now that we’re back on the river I’m feeling high.
6.
They’d have pirate eyes and shit-eating smiles. They’d be all strung up with their throats on fire. Why don’t they just say, ’OK we’ll step off our thrones?’ Or say, ‘No sir, it’s too cold, we’re going home?’ Listen closely the water’s warm, time to de-robe. Don’t say, ‘No sir, it’s too cold, I’m going home.’ Alone. Marlboro (Marlboro) dudes.
7.
These last couple months, I haven’t slept enough. Been out late every night, been drinking to make things right. In my head there’s a song, and it keeps sounding wrong. But next time you’re in my room, if you want, I’ll play it for you. It should sound like all of the colors in the sky were put there for me and you. Sometimes when I get to thinking about it, yeah I find I can hardly speak. Yeah I got such a bleeding heart about it. So I’ll just sing. I’ll just sing my fucked up song. It should sound like all of the colors in the sky were put there for me and you. Sometimes when I get to thinking about it. Yeah I find I can hardly speak. Yeah I got such a bleeding heart about it. So I’ll just sing. I’ll just sing my fucked up song.
8.
In the garden I could hear you hum. (mmmmm) Sounded a little like a crooning Judee Sill. And it’s funny how different tongues can taste— cheap wine, double bubble gum. Or how all my insecurities shelf in aisle three? Away from me. I've got a sister who reads dreams for fun. I’ve got a mother who reads obituaries. How come every time you text me it’s to say you’re in love with somebody new? Your mind is moving, moving, moving, moving, moving, and mine’s staying still. In the time I’ve come to know you I’ve been trying to ignore the way December leaves signs of the Holocene. It’s been really good to know you in this century. Let’s keep running ’til we run out of signs of the Holocene. I need to get up out of bed, I need to go and wash my hair. I need to write another song, they keep not going anywhere. How come every night I wake up to the same freighter train flashing through the trees? You’d think that now I would be used to it— now I would be—I’m not used to it. In the time I’ve come to know you I’ve been trying to ignore way December leaves, signs of the Holocene. It’s been really good to know you in this century. Let’s keep running ’til we run out of signs of the Holocene. (Well now Aimee heres the thing: I've got time left still to sing, so here's the deal. I'm sorry. Lately I've been feeling dead. You've got such a comfy bed. I hope you're sleeping better than me. Now that I've had time to think, now I'm eight days since a drink, it's time to— time to start on the rest. Now that all these things are said, now that I've kicked cigarettes, it's time to— time to start on the rest.)

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recorded in a cellar in aberdeen, md., between oct. 2016 - feb. 2017. written before/during then.

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released February 26, 2017

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Frass Green Washington, D.C.

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